Co-Meditation or Cross Breathing

Deep State of Relaxation

Co-meditation has been practiced for centuries by Tibetan priests and physicians to clear and quiet the minds and emotions of dying lamas. Through "cross-breathing" the lamas easily enter a meditative state that calms fear and slows or stops the racing mind that all too often accompany illness and death. The use of the co-meditation process in hospices and palliative care units has allowed patients and loved ones to sustain "clear mind and peaceful heart" during body-death transition.

Breath-Body-Mind Connection

This ancient process requires no belief system or previous experience. It is a deep physical, psychological relaxation practice prior to and during the dying process. Adapted from an authentic Tibetan medical procedure, the method can be used by anyone, sick or healthy, who wants to slow down their spinning mind and achieve serenity.

How It Is Done

It begins with traditional relaxation exercises, starting with tensing the toes and continuing upward to the top of the head. The patient lies comfortably with eyes closed and simply listens and breathes. After the meditator (or patient) becomes deeply calmed, the co-meditator (or guide) recites a soothing phrase or word or a mantra (peace be mine; om na ma shivaya; om,mani, padma hum; it is a good day to die; glory be to God; I love you all; goodbye for now; etc. )chosen by the meditator, on each exhale. Following the guide's voice helps avoid outside distractions and combined with the focus on the exhale and release of tension allows the meditator to reach a deep meditative state very quickly.

What Is Happening

The process slows respiration and pulse rate, lowers body temperature and blood pressure, releases anxiety and reduces pain. The effects of a co-meditation session can last hours or days and doesn't require a trained professional. It also allows the caregiver -- family member or friend -- to feel useful during the difficult period leading into death.

Ways It Can Help

An older woman being treated became terrified of an upcoming angiogram. She had once gone into cardiac arrest during a similar procedure. Co-meditation was used to calm the woman, and when she was in a deep meditative state, she visualized a problem-free test and full recovery. After the procedure, she, "What wonderful thing did you do for me? I wasn't frightened at all." Another person who was dying, had terrifying nightmares that disturbed his sleep -- he literally saw himself in the grave, hounded by demons. During cross-breathing she led him through a visualization where he went into the dream and towards a light where he was assured by the guide, would be safe. He slept, uninterrupted, for six hours.

Dying in Peace

In the last stages of dying, the lungs often fill up and the person dies of congestive heart failure. The meditation process induces a deep state of relaxation, slowing oxygen requirements. It is a way to die in peace, joy, harmony, and dignity, without drugs or euthanasia. It is a very loving gift to give someone.

*Life to Death, Harmonizing the Transition by Richard W. Boerstler, Ph.D. and Hulen S. Kornfeld, R.N., M.A.

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"As a practitioner in Thanatology, I invite you to a meditative experience prior to and at the time of your death. It is possible to experience death with dignity and nobility, as many religious traditions have attested. Unfortunately, most of them have not been practiced for many centuries.

-- Richard W. Boerstler, Ph.D.